I'll be putting most of my writing on Medium, but here seems to be the right place for lists.
We've all heard of a gaggle of geese, a murder of crows and a parliament of owls. Apart from a group or a crowd of people, we seem to be lacking descriptors of specific humans bunched together.
On the F bus from Ferney to Geneva, more commonly known as the 'Corona Conveyance,' the time was pleasantly passed by thinking up a few group labels:
A smoke of teenagers
A squeal of girls
A BO of boys
A weed of snowboarders
A spandex of cyclists
A portaloo of festival goers
A selfie stick of tourists
A bubble wrap of removalists
A latte of baristas
A lanyard of office workers
A sleet of meteorologists
A baguette of bakers
An idiocy of MAGAts
A greed of conservatives
A deckchair of caravanners
A sandwich of picnickers
A regret of binge drinkers
A corduroy of uni students
A tassel of pole dancers
An invisibility of parcel deliverers
A boredom of bus drivers
A coffee cloud of teachers
A concern of mothers
A stickiness of toddlers
An inconvenience of road workers
A tardiness of plumbers
A fright of fashionistas
An annoyance of ticket inspectors
A vape of hipsters
An armpit of backpackers
A gallop of marathoners
A testicle of share traders
A yawn of home brewers
A coloured parka of middle-agers
A stumble of day drinkers
A flab of fast food customers
A spritz of make-up counter consultants
A dread of dentists
A stirrup of gynaecologists
A skid mark of politicians
A smug of baby boomers
A splat of potters
An optimism of interns
A magnum of sommeliers
An ugg boot of Work From Homers
A depression of morticians
A loneliness of cos-players
A jolly of dog walkers
A flop of Trumps
A nope of evangelists
A tea break of council workers
An eating disorder of models
A grope of rich men
A crazy of kite-surfers
A wedgie of physicists
An ignorance of republicans
A flatulence of slow walkers
A jealous judgment of passport checkers
An inferiority of Instagram influencers
An unwanted of modern interpretative dancers
A six pack of gym junkies
A chino of dads
A punch of siblings
A celibacy of bullies
A charcuterie platter of art lovers
A fatigue of minimum wage workers
An unfortunate of Iraqis
An impotence of online trolls
An unsuccessful wank of white supremacists
A scorn of vegans
A presumption of Karens
A shame of vote suppressors
A sob of empty nesters
A malevolence of Murdochs
A Tupperware of tea ladies
A poverty of pokie addicts
A chardonnay of divorcees
A skin cancer of sunbathers
An ugliness of anti-semites
An inebriation of horse race gamblers
A tottering of nightclub girlies
A belch of buffet diners
A smegma of vandals
An unnecessary of reality stars
A useless of YouTubers
A hemp bag of hippies
A disappointment of aunts
A glee of lawyers
A disapproval of pensioners
A sigh of checkout chicks
A daydream of drama students
An iPhone of commuters
A notepad of journalists
A starvation of models
A patience of queuers
A kindness of vaccinators
A selfishness of anti-vaxxers
An efficiency of nurses
A toilet bowl of radio talk show hosts
AND OF COURSE:
A procrastination of writers
Feel free to add your own!
A clown of Boris Johnsons?
ReplyDeleteOh no! I've just imagined there being more than one him.
:o)
Cheers
PM
Ah, there's the difficulty because there's only ONE Boris. If you include him in the more general and sadly more numerous list of narcissistic, lazy and dishonest pollies, maybe you could have a clown car of politicians? A ulcer of politicians? An S-bend of politicians?
DeleteI usually go with Buncha, as in a buncha people, a buncha idiots, a buncha dogwalkers, it pretty much covers everything.
ReplyDeleteNice photo :)
I often use 'buncha' too. When it comes to unpleasant groups however, I find that 'buncha' doesn't quite cut it.
ReplyDeleteA collection of "F---wits"?
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like your description for a buncha politicians!
DeleteGreat list.
ReplyDeleteIt can be hard to stop once you start.....
Delete